5.17.2008

No Gracias

Thanks but no thanks.

Do you want to buy a finger puppet? Maybe a belt?
Perhaps a painting... or a sweater? How about some peanuts? Tangerines?
I know -- you need some gloves! Actually, what you need is a nice dinner at this fantastic place, see, here is the menu -- isn´t it lovely?
Or maybe you need a massage. That´s it. Full body! Or cocaine. That´s what you need. I can tell. With a little marijuana for dessert.
I know the Inca Trail is sold out through September, but we have these amazing hikes that are even better!
Of course they are.
I got it - you need a plastic sun-looking object on a string ---- a perfect souviner!
I know you´ve just seen the Inca ruins and are just looking to walk back home, but here is my cute little child holding a baby llama. And, what it seems you want is to hold this baby llama and we´ll take your picture. Yes?!?

Actually, why don´t you just buy my child?

Ok, ok. No child buying. But I tell ya. It wears on a person. No gracias. I need some horse blinders that extend 5 feet ahead of me on either side, so that I may not be approached. Or, I may be approached, but I cannot see or hear them.

This one woman yesterday, with her baby on her back, starts walking with me. Pushing different sweaters at me. ´100% baby alpaca senior. Si?´
No, gracias.
`Oh but it´s for my baby. See my baby?` she says, whirling around as she shakes him around on her back.
Yes, I see your baby. But I don´t need a sweater.

On and on we go. I became stern - I don´t even know how to be stern! But I was.
Listen lady, no. No sweater.
Block after block we go. Her pleading.
PLease - I have two more kids at home.
Ummm, how about instead of me buying your sweater, I buy you some condoms?!

Guilt.
So what do I do? Yep, I buy a sweater.

Anyway, I hiked up to some ruins today. Overlooking Cusco.
If they´re ruined then why do we want to look at them? Curioso.

It was interesting, they fit a lot of differently shaped rocks together. Big rocks.

And I finally booked a trip! The Inca Trail is booked into September, so that´s not possible. It was either a 5 day, 4 night 55km hike to 4800 meters (and, just walking up steps gets me light-headed. This altitude is no joke. Headaches for everyone!) or a 4 day, 3 night trip that includes 1 day of cycling, 2 days of hiking, and 1 day at Machu Picchu.

I took the easy way out. Plus I like the variety of hiking and biking. I´ll be hiking in the snowy glacial covered mountains of Huarez soon enough.

So that´s it. I leave tomorrow morning, return Wednesday evening.

Can´t wait. Should be a grand time.

1 comment:

Mulkeen said...

should've bought her the condoms, and taken a picture, that would of been classic.

wtf you doing down there again? I mean, spending $100 on a vacation that will last a month is great, but c'mon.